Edition 05 · Roast
Roast a friend savagely but lovingly.
Adorre composes a 13-card comedy roast for the friend who deserves it. Setup, evidence, punchline, devastation — then a heart at the end, because they’re still your favorite disaster. Send it to the group chat. Watch it ruin them.
Sample cards
What three cards actually look like.
Card 02 · setup
“You’re genuinely one of a kind. By that I mean scientists are still trying to figure out what went wrong.”
Card 07 · punchline
“The way you think you’re funny though — babe, the only joke here is your search history.”
Card 13 · fake_nice
“Underneath all the chaos and delusion, you’re genuinely one of the best humans I know. For real.”
Proof
“Group chat went silent for a full minute. Then someone screenshotted it.”
Daniel · Austin
“Texted his mom about it. His mom. Asked if it was true. (It was.)”
Anonymous
Questions
Will it actually be funny?
It will be specific, which is what makes roasts funny. Generic shots like “haha so weird” are cut. Real things — the parking incident, the Spotify Wrapped, the hat — are kept.
Will it cross a line?
The system avoids identity-based shots. Everything else (fashion, opinions, the hat, the take you keep defending) is fair game.
Can I send it for a birthday?
It’s a great birthday gift if your friend has a thick skin and a sense of humor. The last two cards always pivot to genuine — the roast lands harder because of it.